I Was Playing the Wrong Game

I used to be really good at one thing: talking myself out of working on my business.

Not because I was lazy. I had plenty of energy.

I was just spending it somewhere else.

Instead of building the business I couldn’t stop thinking about, I spent night after night chasing women who had absolutely nothing to do with where I wanted to go in life. And the whole time, there was this quiet voice in the back of my head saying:

Bro, what are you doing? You should be building something.

I knew it was right.

I just kept telling it to shut up.

When a Good Time Becomes a Bad Habit

I’m not going to pretend casual sex is some horrible thing that ruins everybody’s life. That’s not what I’m saying.

I’m talking about what happens when something you enjoy starts controlling you.

For me, that was chasing women. For somebody else, it might be drinking, gambling, porn, video games, social media, or spending four hours every night watching Netflix.

The activity isn’t really the point.

Are you controlling it, or is it controlling you?

If you repeatedly tell yourself you’re going to work on your business tonight and somehow end up doing everything except working on your business, you’ve got a problem.

I certainly did.

I Was Avoiding Something Hard

It took me a long time to understand why I was chasing women so aggressively. I thought I was just having fun.

And sometimes I was.

But building something is hard. Chasing pleasure is easy.

Working on my business forced me to deal with uncomfortable questions. What if my idea sucked? What if I failed? What if I spent years trying and had nothing to show for it?

Chasing women didn’t ask me any of that. It gave me something immediate to pursue: excitement, validation, anticipation, and maybe sex at the end.

Then I’d wake up the next morning and still have the exact same life.

Eventually I realized I didn’t need more women.

I needed to build a life I didn’t constantly feel the need to escape from.

It Cost Me Time

I don’t regret those years. I had fun, learned things, collected stories, and figured out some things about myself.

But they cost me something I can’t get back:

Time.

The texting. Swiping. Drinking. Driving. Going out. Planning. Recovering. Thinking about the next girl.

That was a lot of time and energy going into something that usually left me right where I started.

And eventually I started wondering what would’ve happened if I’d spent some of those hours learning how to sell, building websites, creating products, or getting better at business.

I couldn’t get the time back.

But I could stop wasting more of it.

I Needed a Better Game

Here’s something I know about myself:

I like winning.

I like competition. I like chasing something difficult. I like having a target in front of me.

Trying to eliminate that part of myself would’ve been stupid.

I didn’t need to stop playing. I needed a better game.

And eventually I came up with a simple way to judge one:

Does winning improve my life after the high wears off?

You make money while you’re sleeping?

YES.

You hit your first $10,000 month?

YES.

You finally quit the job you hate?

YES.

You make enough money to help somebody you love?

FUCK YES.

Now compare that with another meaningless hookup.

Forget the temporary high. What changed the next morning? Did I build anything? Did my life improve? Was I any closer to freedom?

Usually not.

That’s when I realized I’d been putting a hell of a lot of effort into winning a game I didn’t care that much about winning anymore.

Pick a Game Worth Winning

Once I started taking my business seriously, I didn’t lose that competitive drive.

I redirected it.

Instead of obsessing over getting a woman’s attention, I started thinking about getting a customer’s attention. Making more money. Becoming a better writer. Building better products. Creating more freedom.

And I liked those games a hell of a lot more because when I won, something remained after the excitement disappeared.

That’s the difference.

You don’t have to become a monk. You don’t have to pretend sex isn’t fun. And I’m definitely not telling you everybody needs to live the way I do.

But look at whatever you spend your time chasing and ask yourself:

What happens when I win?

If you get a temporary high and wake up tomorrow basically where you started, maybe that’s fine once in a while.

But if it’s consuming a huge part of your life while something you claim matters more keeps getting neglected, stop pretending you don’t know what’s happening.

Maybe you don’t need more discipline.

Maybe you need a better game.

I did.

I didn’t stop chasing things.

I finally started chasing something worth catching.

Your man,

Uncle Blayde